a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
