chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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