Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
