I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
