I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
