Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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