what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
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I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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