road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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