Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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