So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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