That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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