Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
