how can u be prego again
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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