I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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