Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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