In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
