bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
