8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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