Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
