I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
