How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
