That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
time to smoke my breakfast
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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