sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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