she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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