dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
