Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
