new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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