Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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