We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I FOUND THE LEGS
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
