Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
