I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
