you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
