Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
