Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
