Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
