I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
