At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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