I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
