I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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