you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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