my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
