Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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