Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
