There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
