make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
