I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
