i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ride that face into the sunset
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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