You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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