Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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