You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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