What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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