He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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