Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
