Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I didn't notice because vodka
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
