And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
