I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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