WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How external is "for external use only"?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
