remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
