hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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